Jennifer Ross

       I met Jen the first day I was moving into Porter dormitory at Mercer University. She had a towel wrapped around her body and one wrapped around her head. She gave me a hug and introduced herself to my Mom, step-dad, Bridget, and Jacob. She then informed me that we were going to be next door neighbors. She was vivacious, friendly, earnest, and a whirlwind on to herself. I did not know exactly what to think about Jen and it took us a while to become really good friends. I was use to people functioning on  a 6 or 7 and Jen was constantly on an 11 all the time. We ended up in the same sorority. During finals of our spring semester mostly everyone on our hall had left. Jen came over to my room and informed me she was bored and tired of studying. She tried on a pair of my riding/driving gloves and wanted to know if I could come up with an adventure. I told her lets just get in the car and drive. Jen always liked to drive so she got behind the wheel of her vehicle. Our destination turned out to be Krispy Kreme. We got a dozen donuts and invited the rest of the girls on the hall. Jen stayed in my room later and we talked about guys we've dated, guys that wanted to date us, and where we thought we'd be in the future. What jobs we wanted to have and careers. Jen really wanted to be a mom one day and talked about the two of us being next door neighbors. 


"I don't know if I could handle living right next door to you, but on the same street or town would be nice." Me


"Well I want our kids to be able to play together and grow up together" Jen


"Yeah, I'm not sure I even want them Jen" Me


"I want us to be life long friends.... at least" Jen


"Jen, you know I've not really viewed you as a friend before but I do think you have a tremendous heart and I would like to be your friend now." Me


"Yes, I know that you didn't always like me, but I'm glad we can put it behind us and be friends now" Jen
  
    I did not know at the time if I really wanted to get married or not and for that matter have children. There were still some issues with my parents divorce that I was trying to work out and I don't commit myself to something unless I'm sure it's what I want and I have the gumption to see it through. I've always tried my best to be honest with people. I'm a terrible liar and I'm okay with not having a talent at it. Jen was a lot better friend to me than I was to her in return. A group of us went to Orlando for Halloween Horror Nights. We decided to drink before we went in which was a huge mistake. Jen got caught and was banned from Universal Studios for a year or two.

          The rest of us went and had a good time. Jen and I made plans to go back to her home for St. Patrick's Day. Her family hailed from Savannah, Ga. We both bonded over asking the wrong guys to formal. I was able to get out of going with my initial date where he put me on speaker phone to break up with him in front of his frat brothers. My date for the event ended up being wonderful (even if he was significantly older :) and I was really happy with my decision. Jen did not want to hurt the guy's feelings and therefore went with him even though he was a jerk to her the entire time. She was incredible at sticking up for her friends but she had yet to develop standing up for herself. Christmas break was generally a pretty hectic time for me. My birthday, Christmas, Christmas parties, and seeing divorced parents does not leave a lot of down time. I found out that Jen was shot on Christmas. It actually took place late Christmas Eve. 
          The message that was sent out was that she was okay and was in the hospital. She would not be coming back to school the following semester but she was planning on coming by and seeing everyone. A few of her friends had gathered at the hospital and were sending updates. I was torn. I was suppose to go down to Cape Coral, Fl to see my family. Every report I got was that she was doing well. I decided to go to Cape Coral, FL. On New Years Eve my phone started to blow up. I knew it was not good news. I checked a few of the messages and I was asked to call them back. I went online and read that she had passed. The rest of the time was a gray haze. My parents tried to comfort me but I did not feel like I could talk to anyone. It just seemed so unreal to me. I also felt an overwhelming sense of guilt, for not being there, and for not being a better friend. She was 19 when she died and in the brief span that I knew her she taught me a lot about friendship and being open. I like to think a part of Jen is always with me, encouraging me to live my life to the fullest and going after what I want. Reminding me that life is precious and to acknowledge and spend time with people that I love and strive to become the best person I can be in every aspect of my life. Her light may have been blown out but I always carry a flame with me.


"The only way to have a friend is to be one"-Ralph Waldo Emerson


"Think where mans glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends" -William Butler Yeats


"You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself plainly when you have need of him"- J.K. Rowling